move on J ;]

Assalamualaikum...

it's new year according to the Islamic calender, "Awal Muharram"... On this special moment, i found myself looking back towards what I have gone through, the mistakes I've made. I guess my biggest regrets is where I've hurt the feelings of those who truly loved me (my biggest sin), just because I was busy running around the world chasing the love that wasn't meant for me. I admit I was blind, my heart was filled with beautiful lies until I couldn't accept reality. I really regret, not by his presence but all the time that i had wasted in that relationship. They say, girls forgive but never forget. Well, I forgive but I will never forget my broken heart. Because of him, I find it hard to fall in love. After we broke up, I was really down to the ground, heart broken and did everything to get him back but it was no use.

I was just someone in his life, only "someone".

It took a long time until I can finally found my inner strength to move on. From there, I  realized that my heart, feelings, and soul wasn't to be given to anyone. The value of trust is way beyond the value of gold. In fact, my friend's quote kept flashing in my mind. Her quote "I'm not afraid of giving commitment, I'm just afraid committing to the wrong person" slaps my face over and over again.

hehehe...

I took 3 steps back, I calmed myself to not over react. Took a deep breath, exhale and forget (really? :p).

So, life is unpredictable. I realize since then I was given precious moments to fix what was wrong before. I cope back with those whom I've hurt, my family and friends and other things that I took for granted when I was with him. I keep motivating myself to be strong, upgrading my inner self to be more confident and see things in a much wider view. I appreciate my last year of studies, going through everything without looking back. I determined myself to be a new person...

As for "love", I've done my part of "perigi mencari timba"....Now, let me be discovered by the rightful "Him" according to time :)

regards,
Jamilah